God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
