I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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