i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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