This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
