is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize