Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
