I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dick very happy bro
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
