guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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