i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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