adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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