hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
