Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
