I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize