I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
