It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
