We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
