We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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