Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
FUCK WHALES
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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