She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
operation harelip BJ is a go
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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