Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
