I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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