Pappa wants mamma naked
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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