just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize