Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is wine microwaveable?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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