we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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