What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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