Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
