not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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