oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dignity is for republicans.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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