It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
