If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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