the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
