Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
