Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You were trust falling into bushes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
