everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
