I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
