I need help removing her.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
