What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
