So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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