Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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