do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
