just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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