apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize