he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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