Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
