He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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