After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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