I want to make a zoo with you.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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