My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
