i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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