Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
