how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
