I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize